I am pausing now.
What is the art we make, that we try to birth out of our bodiesheartsexperienceminds? Does it satisfy? If it satisfied, would we need to make more?
Is its purpose to satisfy, or simply to express, in a more immediate, body-emergent way?
But what becomes of expression? If expression is the purpose why all the analysis about whether or not the expression indicates emergence along a desirable path (desirable on own my terms, given that I'm not seeking to contribute to the development of art history or satisfy buyers or gallery owners)?
Notes from my last Paul Oertel workshop:
How is making art separate from identity?
An identity that isn't the artist.
He had to 'have a complete nervous breakdown' in order to separate his work from his identity.
'I don't have to do it right. I can make art not to validate myself but because it's fun and I love it. The art can end tomorrow and I'm ok with it.
You have to watch that your art doesn't become too important.
Be humbled by your own artistry, not glorified by it. You don't feel like it comes from you.
Art deconstructs your identity; it deconstructs fixity of mind.
Create out of your life-given self, as you were born... serving the spirit of life will set you free.
Ego in the service of the life-given spirit, instead of the other way round.